What is an Au Pair?
Au Pair, from the French on par means “equal” to indicate that the young woman living with a family and taking care of the children is on par or equal in status with the rest of the family. In other words, au pairs tend to be regarded as part of the family, like an older daughter, whose main responsibility is taking care of the children and chores related to the children. Au pairs originated in Europe when upper “crust” or wealthy families wanted “help” with their young children, but desired a more relaxed and fun approach to childcare, compared to the older and often times more reserved “nanny” they experienced as a child.
Today, American parents are signing their families up for the au pair experience as thousands of young women arrive in the USA to not only care for your child, but to enrich your child’s life as well as the entire family. The added dimension of sharing another’s cultural experience can be exciting and educational and can provide the basis of a lifelong relationship.
What an au pair is not: please keep in mind the girl you hire from abroad is not an employee and should not be treated like one. So, you ask – what can she actually do? Her duties can include very helpful family chores: preparing meals for the children – and cleaning the meal prep up; making the children’s beds; doing the children’s laundry; picking up after the children; driving them to school, play dates, sporting events, lessons, errands, etc. She is also expected to keep her room and her bathroom clean and tidy and to do her own laundry.
She will expect to be treated like an extended family member – do not plan to treat her like a “paid” stranger in your home. She is not on-call 24 hours a day or when you travel from home overnight. The agencies have USA government restrictions on over-night travel – read the fine print carefully if you are a pilot, nurse or if you plan to jet set across the continent, leaving your brood with the au pair for extended lengths of time.
The au pair is not responsible, nor should she ever be asked, to do heavy housework or raking or digging in the garden, or schlepping garbage cans to and from the street. She is not your housekeeper or dog walker – she may do these things if she likes the dog (or you) but don’t expect her to work around the house when the kids are in school. She is there for the children and is not responsible for all those weekend chores you never seem to have time for.
Your au pair will expect a car – she will need to drive to school, to visit other au pairs, her counselor and, most importantly, to shop at our American malls (she has been looking forward to this for quite some time – just try and stop her!). She needs to have an active and on-going social life throughout her year in the States – please ensure she does if you want a well-adjusted and happy young woman caring for your children.
Most counselors that we interviewed said over and over to us: “I tell my host parents to keep your au pair happy and content and everything flows from there – if you have a happy au pair – your children will be happy – if you have happy children – you and your spouse will be happy and satisfied consumers and parents.” We think this is good, solid advice that should not be ignored and is key to a successful year with your au pair.
Can I work in Eastern Europe Legally as an au pair? (Im American)?
I can not find any au pair situations in Eastern Europe, is it because it is poor or because it is illegal for American agencies to send girls to most of eastern European countries?
There are plenty of young women in those countries who act as au pairs–they are trying to get to the US! While there are rich people there, it is dangerous as this is the area where young women are abducted and forced into prostitution throughout Europe and the US. Not a good idea.
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